09 December 2007

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My Honest

I’m so sorry to everyone that know me (as a friend, close friend, as a student, as a brother and everything).as you know now I am student at the college and not a boy now ! ! !, but I felt nothing one in my life was changed, except oh my God I’m so confused and not realized what it is in my life that have a changed.

I might be so annoying to many people, because of my attitude. May be I’ve got a heart disease (it is the connotative, is not a true disease, it’s not because of love, I mean is “penyakit hati” you know what kind of that thing??? yes, they are (in Indonesian) “sombong”, “iri”,”pelit” de el el or etc. I thing the main problem is “puffed up” or “sombooongnya aku” , actually nothing can be boasted. My ustadz said "You should have to get yourself close to Allah SWT with shalat, dzikir and etc that could get your self close to Allah Swt". And day by day I keep struggling to get myself close to Allah swt, so please your support.

There are still more problem, I feel I like to make a problem with my lecturer, like debating to him and I feel he getting angry. I debate everyone that I feel he said not true (kayak gue yang paling bener aja ya).
Especially my teacher or lecturer in computer study, I think I've made he felt embarrassed and might be he felt embarrassed with all of my debate about his study. I know, I’ve make the big mistake. I know, I’m guilty. So with this posting I’d like to say “SORRY” OR “VERY SORRY” all from my soul with my honest and not strained.


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